Prayer

I have never been able to discipline myself very well to pray consistently (whatever that means). I definitely do not have the gift of intercession, but I do have a passion within me to call on God, even if I don't do it consistently (that is the word of the day I guess). Singing is the best way for me to communicate with God, but many times there is a need to find a place without distractions (really hard for my undisciplined mind to stay focused) and pray for those I love and for those who drive me insane.

It's much easier to pray for my friends and family than for those who I don't care for (what a revalation! hee hee), but my prayer life has been struggling this week. I actually feel much freer from school, so maybe I don't feel the desperation that I did before. I never want to use God as my bag of magic tricks...call on Him only when I NEED something. I also don't want to get stuck in the same old prayers.

There is an amazing written out prayer, "A daily prayer for freedom"by John and Stasi Eldredge in their book "Captivating". I have to admit that it is very lengthy, but it's based on the scriptures and I find it amazing! It takes discipline to read each word and pray it with my heart and not just say the words to unconsciously pat myself on the back for a good job well done.

That brings me to another thought. Prayer can definitely be looked at as "accomplishing a Christian task" for the day. I never want to compare myself to what I think I should be doing. Of course I need to stay disciplined, but not live under guilt for not doing something. Guilt slips in so easily and that is not what God wants.

My discipline as of late has been to just be aware of God at all times. To consistantly (there's that word again) be aware of His presence; to know that He is always with me. I want to always abide in my refuge, the shelter of the most high God. There is such a comfort in knowing that God is always with me, and easier to talk to Him when He's just there.

Ps 91:1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.

Ps 25:4-5 Make me to know Your ways, O Lord; teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me...