jumping on weakness

When I was younger, I never wanted anyone to think that I didn't know the answer to a question. I pretended to know a lot of things just for approval. Now I am much more confident to say "I don't know about ..."

Nurses have a tendency to "eat their young" or criticize each other, especially new nurses. Any vulnerability or weakness is jumped upon and ridiculed. I have a very hard time watching this (or being apart of it), especially because nursing is a field of caring.

I mentioned before that one of my classes is all about working, collaborating, and talking about specific things related to nursing. I mentioned that I like to be noticed for doing hard work and that I'm energized by that. A fellow group member (who is a nurse) jumped all over "me" saying that when she works, she acts as a patient advocate not for approval but because that is her duty. She furthered her statement with emotions that are not worth going into. I found myself reading these things and getting shaky and feeling unjustified. She doesn't know that I'm a hard worker. She doesn't know anything about me.

First of all, we are communicating on a discussion board which is very difficult if a person is emotional or doesn't consider how their message sounds. You can tell that some care and some do not. Secondly, if any "weakness" is expressed, there is a tendency for some of my group members to prove how great they are and how they are not like those who expressed a weakness. Thirdly, I do not even know why this effects me. Why do I care what a nurse thinks? Possibly because I'm a people pleaser?

Do I have to revert back to my old way of being...showing how much better I (think I)am than other people? Do I have to treat others like dirt if they express what I consider a weakness? Absolutely not! Will I continue to care? Probably, it's a part of my nature. As long as I do not live under other people criticisms I am okay. I really do not desire to be a people pleaser anymore. I need to be confident in myself, my family, my friends, and ultimately my God.

1 Thes 2: 3-6
For the appeal we make does not spring from error or impure motives, nor are we trying to trick you. On the contrary, we speak as men approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts. You know we never used flattery, nor did we put on a mask to cover up greed—God is our witness. We were not looking for praise from men, not from you or anyone else.