Sunday, March 16, 2008

A Changing Church

My church used to be around 20 people (50+ yrs old) who all were very close. We would have a potluck every Sunday and so we all knew one another pretty well, but I was still on the outside because of my age. I was the worship leader from the second Sunday that I attended. I loved it, and yet was frustrated that we were pretty stagnant. There was no energy and no motivation to change and grow, but the people were so faithful and prayerful and hopeful.

Last year the church grew by over 60 people, mostly elderly. They have so much energy and passion. A music person was in the mix and I was excited for someone to help me with music, because nursing school is stressful. We started an every other Sunday approach and I was surprised that I was quite upset that I didn't play every Sunday. I went to Tanzania for 2 weeks and upon my return, she had pretty much taken over. There was a choir and children's performance and she wanted to be voted into "worship chair". I was flabbergasted.

She was voted in because I was not interested in the position. It has been a struggle for months to go to "worship board meetings" and discuss what colors are going to be used in the "Easter Service" and all these details that have nothing to do with worship. My heart is in such a different place, but I know we are transitioning out, so I'm keeping my mouth shut (very hard for me).

Traditional Easter time is not my favorite time, and I find that sad because it's the base of my faith...Jesus is Alive! I don't care about what flowers are decorating the sanctuary or what color of table cloths should we use. I care that the people are so moved by God that they are pressed to show His love to others who are in more need of it. I think the purple flowers aren't touching people, but then again, am I being close minded? God uses nature to show us His love, right?

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